why can’t i stop crying
I don’t want to go back on my meds but I also want to be able to get out of bed in the morning.
Why do i keep DOING this to myself? I saw him at Phish last night after telling him to fuck off for good, and while I was busy trying to avoid him he INTENTIONALLY came up to me with his arm around some other girl and made direct eye contact with me as they walked past. Then when they had passed us I turned around to see where they were going and he also turned around and looked straight at me, again. I mean, who the fuck does he think he is? And then he was texting me all this shit, pretending like that encounter never happened. It’s manipulative as fuck, but I can’t help it that I fucking love him. Yesterday when he picked me up from Dopapod he asked me to go to Phish with him today, and he asked again this morning. So I thought maybe things had cleared up and were different, now. But apparently not. As usual, he bailed, and now he’s trying to get me to sleep over again tomorrow night.
Chances fucking are, the whole reason he bailed today was because he was off with some other rando at Phish without me. Fucking fuck. I’m so fucking BEYOND done…
"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention."Rachel Naomi Remen (via thatkindofwoman)
"The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will blossom like flowers." - Thich Nhat Hanh (via culturejolt)